


The One I Love

by rachaellikestoread



Category: Suikoden, Suikoden III
Genre: Anal Fingering, F/M, Fellatio, Masturbation, Possibly Unrequited Love, Rimming, Vaginal Sex, Valentine's Day, ass worship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 11:55:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5966554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachaellikestoread/pseuds/rachaellikestoread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucia and Sasarai can’t have a relationship, but they can have sex. So they do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One I Love

It was not the first time I had fallen in love with an outsider; Hugo's father, in fact, had been a Highland general in the days of the Dunan Unification War. I was very young back then, and had become enamored with stories of affairs with foreign men. My restless, youthful spirit longed for a romantic adventure of my own, and I found it in Han Cunningham.

Han was different from the other Highlanders, both in age and in bearing. Compared to the hot-blooded Seed, the cool-headed Culgan, and the heavy-hearted Jowy, he was a warm, gentle man who watched over the 2nd Army with a quiet authority. I had pieced together his history from several of his men, although I was certain some of his heroic feats had been exaggerated.

The first time we met in private, he had been surprisingly shy, telling me it had been a long time since he'd been with a woman. I had told him it was the same with me, and we had cautiously explored each other's bodies without going all the way. The memory of his large hands on my skin still brings delightful shivers to my body.

We continued to meet in secret, and before long, Hugo was conceived. Of course, everyone knows what happened after: Han was slain by the leader of the New State Army. I had grieved for him, alone in Highland, then to Luce when I returned to the Karaya village.

I have not kept the identity of Hugo's father a secret from those close to me. I never married, for there was no doubt in my mind that Hugo would one day succeed me as Karayan chief. I have, over the years, been with a few more men, but have always parted from them for some reason or another. At this point, I don't need a man in my life--I merely desire the occasional warmth and pleasure that I can only find in a man's embrace.

This time, I knew I was taking a risk, for the man I fell in love with was from an enemy nation. Surprisingly, had the wheels of destiny turned in a slightly different direction, we might have met fifteen years ago, since we were both in Highland around the same time; however, he left Highland shortly before I arrived.

For that reason, I did not meet Sasarai until the last days of the second Fire Bringer War.

***

I knew, of course, that the Harmonian Army had enslaved the Kanaa clan and slaughtered the Safir clan, and planned to do the same to the rest of the Grasslands. When Sasarai and his men appeared during a battle against Luc's forces and offered their help, I had expected them to haughty and deceitful.

Instead, I found that not only was Sasarai upfront about his intentions, he got along well with everyone at Budehuc Castle, including Thomas. I was surprised to discover he and Hugo had dueled at the Chisha village, even more so to see them laughing about it. Although Hugo wanted a rematch, Sasarai refused.

When Hugo introduced him to me, Sasarai acted very humble and charming, but I could see the wheels turning in his mind. I knew then that this young man wasn't just a pretty boy who had been born into a world of privilege and comfort; he had sharp eyes and a head for politics.

We talked often as we prepared for the final confrontation with the Destroyers. We were both careful about sharing what we knew with the other, but we mostly talked about casual things, like our respective hobbies (hunting for me, gardening for him) and our hopes for the future (peace for both of us--an old person's wish).

Our early conversations were always overseen by his adjutant, Dios, a man of few words and fewer expressions. However, he must have sensed us growing closer, because he left us alone later. I do not know if Sasarai said something to him or not.

"I'm not proud of what my country has done," he said one day.

"Then why are you a military leader?" I asked him. "Why do you choose to take part in oppressing other nations?"

"I didn't exactly choose it," he said, then shook his head. "No, that's wrong. I suppose I always had a choice. But my elders told me that it would be wrong to not use the True Earth Rune as a weapon for Lord Hikusaak, and as a shield for our men on the front lines. When they put it that way, I didn't feel like I had any right to say no, if refusing would lead to more Harmonian lives being lost." He sighed. "Of course, my using it led to more enemy lives being lost."

"'Enemy' is a little harsh," I said. "Some of them were civilians."

"Yes," he agreed, looking sadly at his hands. "I have nothing to say in my defense. What we did to Safir...That wasn't right." He looked back up at me. "I'm sorry."

"...And?" I prompted. When he didn't answer, I added, "What are you going to do about it?"

He cringed. "That's exactly what I've been asking myself. What _am_ I going to do? It scares me. I don't even know where to start. Even if I refused to obey orders, I...."

I nodded. "You would probably be killed, since Hikusaak can't afford to let you do what you please when you have a True Rune."

"And yet..." He sighed. "I suppose this is for the best. If I hadn't learned what sort of man he really was, I might have continued to justify our actions. I believed we were working for the greater good, you know. There is no question that countless lives have been lost because of improper use of the True Runes. If all Runes were contained in one country and controlled by one righteous man...." He trailed off when he noticed me shaking my head. "You disagree?"

"Of course I do," I told him. "You Harmonians seem to think that the True Runes are things that can be used like tools. But we of the Karaya clan believe that the Runes are more like partners who work alongside their bearers."

"Oh, I didn't mean that literally." His cheeks turned pink. "I...I must agree, they are indeed like partners. Mine is--was--is--" He stopped, looking uncomfortable. Lost, even. "I don't...feel like myself without it."

I gave him a comforting smile and put my hand over his. "How long did you have it?"

"Since I was a child." Something in his demeanor shifted for a moment, and I suspected there was something he was keeping from me, but I let it go. "I never had any problems getting it to cooperate with me, once I truly understood its powers. Using earth magic was as easy as breathing. That's not to say that I didn't have to undergo tutoring, but..." Now he was smiling fondly. "These Runes have wills of their own. It was like having a friend with me. We had our own language, we had secrets...." He coughed, embarrassed. "I suppose that sounds strange to someone who's never borne a True Rune."

I shrugged. "Not too strange, really. Everyone knows the Runes have souls of their own."

"Souls? Do you think so?" He looked thoughtful. "So if Luc succeeds in destroying the True Wind Rune, will its essence remain after death? Is there an afterlife for True Runes? If there is, will it go to the same one as the rest of us?"

"A good question." His hand felt good in mine, warm and soft. "You're not used to holding a blade, are you?"

He laughed. "Most mages aren't. But no, I've had very minimal combat training. I never used a sword outside of practice, and even that was over ten years ago. I don't really need anything like that."

I winked at him. "You never know. After all, mages can't do everything. I think it's best to learn to fight in as many ways as you can. I normally fight with a whip, but I know how to use a sword, spear, and bow as well."

"A whip?" he repeated, laughing. "That's a little scary. I bet most soldiers don't see that coming."

"They don't. It can't kill a man, of course, but it can sting. You'd be surprised how many fighters have dropped their swords after they take one of my hits to the face." I couldn't help laughing when he winced. "Don't worry. I won't use it on you...without your permission, of course."

"Without my..." His voice trailed off, and I saw those wheels turning once again. "I have a feeling you're making some sort of innuendo, but I'm afraid that exactly what you're insinuating escapes me."

It was a surprising statement, but then, maybe Harmonians didn't know that much about alternative sexual practices. "Some people enjoy being whipped, Sasarai. It arouses them...sexually."

"Oh." He swallowed awkwardly and began to tap his fingers against the table. "I've never heard of that. But I suppose sexual activity is, by its very nature, rather...intense. Violent, even."

"Oh?" Now he had my interest. "Are you speaking from experience?"

"I...That is..." He looked around, embarrassed, but nobody was paying any attention to us. He leaned forward, cleared his throat, and spoke in a low voice. "If I'm straightforward with you, do you promise not to speak of this to anyone?"

"I swear," I said.

"Then...Well, yes. Yes, I am." His face was turning red. "I'm not entirely inexperienced in matters of the flesh. I have been with a few other bishops over the past several years. It's...The life of a bishop, it's very...solitary. You learn about what acts are forbidden, but the more you try to avoid thinking about them, the stronger the urge becomes. And before you know it..."

I shook my head. "It's unnatural to deny yourselves sexual pleasure. Why do you do it?"

"To keep our bodies pure," he said, shrugging. "And our minds. If you give yourself over to unholy passions, you lose sight of what's truly important: serving Lord Hikusaak, and carrying out his will."

"So technically, you're not supposed to have sex. But you do it anyway."

He shrugged again, as if to say, "What do you expect me to do?" "We're not supposed to kill, either. But...Well, you know Harmonia's imperialistic policies as well as I do."

"And you've never questioned this?" I asked him. "Why you have to follow all these rules, except for when it's convenient to Hikusaak?"

His lips were smiling, but his eyes were avoiding mine. "Well...The sex isn't because it's convenient to Hikusaak, but a lot of us do it. More than you'd think."

I put my hand on his shoulder, and he finally looked me in the eye as I said, "There's nothing to feel guilty about. Of course you'd turn to other men in that setting."

"I do wonder," he admitted. "I don't think it's just because they were the only people around. I mean, there were domestic workers who were women, and I saw them fairly frequently. I was attracted to some of them, too, but it didn't seem right. If I was caught with another bishop, we would both be chastized, but we wouldn't be that severely punished. However, if one of the domestic staff was seen with me, that would be the end of his or her livelihood. It wouldn't be right to put them in that sort of position."

"You take power differences very seriously," I said. "That's good."

He smiled sadly. "It's lonely at the top, as they say."

***

The night before the final battle, I got a knock on my door. When I opened it, I was surprised to see Dios. "Yes?"

He cleared his throat--unnecessarily, I thought. "Lord Sasarai would like to speak to you. Would you be willing to come to his room?"

Although it did surprise me that Sasarai wanted to talk so late at night, it made sense that he wanted me to come to his room. Sasarai had steadily weakened over the course of his stay, and had come to spend most of his waking hours in bed. I couldn't imagine that he would be in any shape to ride into battle in the morning. "Of course."

It had been three days since I had seen Sasarai, and his face was deathly pale. My expression must have reflected my concern, because he smiled and said, "I look worse than I really am. Dios is taking good care of me."

I sat down on a stool next to the bed. "I was under the impression that your present condition can only be improved by getting your True Rune back."

"That's true," he admitted, looking up at Dios. "I've tried to tell him that, but he won't go away."

"Sir--" Dios began.

Sasarai raised his hand to quiet him. "I know. You're doing what you feel is right, and I admire that. But now that Lucia's here, I would like you go to your room and sleep. You won't be of much help to me if you're not awake and alert tomorrow."

Dios bowed stiffly. "Sir."

As soon as Dios was gone, Sasarai let out a sigh of relief. "You can go in a few minutes. The first reason I called you here was so I could be rid of him. I appreciate his efforts, but he's so nervous about tomorrow that it's making me nervous. Now I can finally relax enough to sleep."

"What's the other reason?" I asked.

He smiled again. "Well, you never know what could happen. Tomorrow, I mean. I must confront Luc and retrieve my True Earth Rune and, if possible, the True Wind Rune as well. Both are the rightful property of Lord Hikusaak."

"So you _are_ going to return to his service."

"For now." He looked away. "Regardless of whether or not Lord Hikusaak himself is a righteous man, I have a duty to strive for the good of _all_ citizens of Harmonia. I don't just mean the most privileged, either. I mean the second- and third-class citizens as well. Furthermore," he added, turning back to face me, "by myself, I can't do much to change our foreign policy. That will take years, perhaps decades, to change. But if I can present Lord Hikusaak with the True Rune that was taken from him twenty-five years ago, perhaps he will be satisfied for now."

I shook my head. "I can't imagine what it's like to work for someone like him. How well do you even know him, if you don't know whether he's trustworthy?"

"None of us know him personally." He smiled wearily and added, "That must sound strange to you. But when you're used to things being a certain way, it feels perfectly natural. The way I saw it, Hikusaak was so powerful and enlightened that he couldn't descend to our level even if he wanted to. He was like a god. Even if gods choose to consort with mortals, they're still gods, right?"

"We do not have gods," I told him. "We believe in spirits. Unlike gods, they do not have physical bodies, and unlike ghosts, they cannot be seen or heard. They can only be felt--in the earth and in the wind. We believe that, although only certain individuals have the ability to communicate directly with spirits, every life--plant, animal, or human--is guided by the spirits."

He nodded. "That will work, too. Like you said, only special people can talk to spirits. They're mystical beings that can't be fully comprehended by human minds, correct?"

"Yes." I smiled at him. "I understand. Even I probably believe what I do because of how I was raised. I can feel the influence of the spirits in my life, but I suppose you have felt power coming from Hikusaak."

"I have," he agreed. "It's an awesome power. Frightening, even. When I'm in his presence, I can sense the holding strength of the Circle Rune, which keeps the universe in order. As long as Hikusaak bears that Rune, nothing can stand against him. All we can do is delay the inevitable."

"What is the inevitable?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Whatever he wills it to be."

"I don't believe that," I said. "I mean, from what I understand, he's had hundreds of years to obtain the True Runes. But he must not have them all, because Luc has five of them, and the Queendom of Falena has another. The Rune of Punishment hasn't been seen in over a hundred years, and the Dragon Rune is in Goya. I don't know how many True Runes Harmonia has, but obviously there are various things keeping Hikusaak from taking possession of all of them."

"I suppose." Then, he smiled. "Forgive me. This conversation has gone on for too long. I'd better go back to my original reason for summoning you here." He looked me straight in the eye. "Lucia, I care about you a great deal. You are one of the few people I can call a friend. Also, I am attracted to you. Physically and mentally."

It was a far more blunt statement than I would have expected. "I feel the same way." I placed my hand on his chest. "I wouldn't mind becoming intimate with you tonight. As you said, who knows what will happen tomorrow?"

He looked at me with a teasing smile, but he shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't in my present condition. I can barely sit up. Although tomorrow, I will have to gather the strength to stand and fight. I must get my True Earth Rune back."

An old superstition says that it's bad luck to talk about one's plans after a war. Instead of saying anything, I leaned in close to make my intentions clear. He nodded, and I kissed his lips.

"Thank you," he whispered. His eyes closed. "I'll be praying for your survival, so please pray for mine."

"I'll do better than that." I embraced him gently, careful not to put any weight on him. "May my dear friend, Sasarai, walk with the divine protection of the earth and wind spirits."

"Earth and wind spirits," he repeated, his voice almost inaudible. "How fitting."

***

As it turned out, we both survived the war, and met up again at Budehuc Castle. 

"I really shouldn't be here," he told me. "I'll be in enough trouble back home for coming to assist the Fire Bringer without permission. Hopefully, I can convince Lord Hikusaak that time did not permit for me to go through the usual procedure of obtaining his permission." Then, he shrugged. "But I wanted to come here again. I wanted to see everyone celebrate this new hope that victory has brought us." He appeared to be in much better health than he had before, but there was a sadness in his eyes that hadn't been there when we last met. "Harmonia is almost always at war, or preparing to go to war. It's exhausting."

"I'm glad you came back," I said. "I wanted to see you again. Did you know it's Valentine's Day today?" I reached into my bag and pulled out a box of chocolates I'd purchased in Iksay, along with a white card covered in drawn carnations and the words "Be my Valentine."

He let out a surprised laugh. "This is rich! I've never received a Valentine before."

"You haven't?" I couldn't believe my ears. "You're attractive enough. Do they not celebrate Valentine's Day in Harmonia?"

"They do," he said, "but why would anyone give a bishop a Valentine? It's not like you can openly pine after a member of the clergy." He smiled and shook his head. "'Be my Valentine.' What exactly do Valentines do?"

I shrugged. "Go on dates, I guess. Kiss. Snuggle together. Other things."

"'Other things,' huh?" His face was getting red. "Well, I..." He looked around--people were talking and laughing, and a few of the younger folks were giggling and whispering to one another. "Nobody's watching. I guess we could go somewhere private and...talk." He chuckled as a blushing Dios received yet another card, this time from a fat woman he'd seen in the courtyard earlier. "And my nosy subordinate clearly has his hands full."

I lightly stroked his arm and said, "Sounds good to me."

***

It seemed that every corner of the castle was occupied, but Hugo had told me about a secret floor that had a network of underground tunnels, including a comfortable space for quiet reading. Eike spent time down there sometimes, but for the most part, it was completely deserted.

"It might just be because of my Rune," Sasarai said, "but I always felt cozy underground. And this is such a nice-looking little place. I never imagined there would be anything like it down here."

We sat across from one another at the small table in the center of the floor and kissed.

"Lucia," he murmured, "there's something I need to explain to you before you go any further. You know how I said I've been with other bishops a few times?"

I nodded.

"Well..." He shrank back a bit, as though preparing to tell me some unpleasant news. "I didn't tell you everything. The truth is, I've only ever been 'with' them in the area of sex. None of them were lovers. That's how I prefer it, and that's how it will have to be, even if we do anything today. I have to keep things casual, because it wouldn't do any good for me to form romantic attachments with anyone. Is that a problem for you?"

I thought about it. I had never really expected that Sasarai and I would be able to have an ongoing relationship. He was, after all, a Harmonian, and I knew he would return to Harmonia soon. It was disappointing that he didn't return my feelings--or couldn't--but it didn't matter. I touched his cheek.

"I won't lie to you," I said. "I would enjoy having you at my side for a while longer. But I didn't expect anything from you from the beginning. If I can spend tonight with you, I'll be content."

He nodded. "If you're sure, then...." An embarrassed grin broke out on his face. "In case you haven't put it together yet, this will be my first time with a woman. Is there anything I should know ahead of time?"

"Not really." I smiled at him. "Have you ever had penetrative sex?"

"Uh...no." His blush grew deeper and he admitted, "We just...used our hands...."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You're a virgin, then."

"I...guess...?" He shrugged. "I never thought of it that way."

I slid my fingertips under the bottom of his shirt. "Is there anything in particular you'd like me to do?" I felt the muscles of his belly twitch at the sudden contact, and I smiled at him. "Tell me your fantasies, Sasarai." Gently, I pushed him to the ground and began to lick his ear, enjoying the flustered noises he made as he tried to gain his bearings.

"I...I've always..." he began as I unbuttoned his shirt collar. "I've always thought...maybe I'd like to..." He moaned and involuntarily pushed his hips against mine. "Maybe...maybe...oh, God, this is embarrassing--"

Trailing my fingernails down his upper body, I whispered, "Tell me."

"Maybe I'd like to...oh, stop for a minute, I can't talk with all this going on!"

I stopped what I was doing and sat up again, taking in his present appearance. With his shirt unbuttoned, his hair tousled by being pressed against the earthen floor, and his face and chest bright red, he certainly didn't look like his usual composed self.

"My God, that was..." He looked at me, wide-eyed. "My previous encounters were nothing like this. They were quiet and...well, shameful. I couldn't even look my partners in the eye. We were so afraid of being caught...I mean, we could be caught here, and it would be embarrassing, but it wouldn't be particularly dangerous."

_Not for us, anyway_ , I thought.

"Anyway, I..." He sat up and began to remove his boots. "I was thinking...I've always thought it would be nice, to...to worship someone's...hindquarters."

I laughed again at the euphemism. "I happen to have a very worshipable ass. Would you like to see it?"

His eyes widened. "I...I guess I do...I mean, yes. Yes."

I stood up and took off my clothes as he stared at me, open-mouthed. Then, I turned around to give him a good view of my backside. "Well?"

He was quiet for several moments. "It's...beautiful," he finally said, as though coming out of a trance. "I've never gotten this close a look at anyone's before, including my own. May I...touch it?"

A devilish idea occurred to me and, wondering how far he'd go, I answered, "Only with your mouth."

"My...mouth...?" He sounded shocked, but not repulsed; in fact, I detected a hint of eagerness in his voice. "All right. If...If you want me to." His lips pressed against my left cheek, not at all shy or hesitant like I would have expected. They lingered there for several moments before he stopped. "Lucia," he groaned, "what are you doing to me?" He kissed me again, this time on the right. "I, I'm not a pervert. I never imagined I'd be doing this, but..."

"Take a look." I pulled my cheeks apart to show him my asshole. "I just cleaned it out this afternoon, and nothing's gone through it since. It's clean enough to eat from."

I didn't think he'd actually do it, but I was pleasantly surprised when I felt his lips lightly touch my anus. It sent a shiver through my lower body, and my cunt began to throb.

"Can I...use my tongue, too?" he asked.

"Yes." Oh, how I wished I could look at him right now, but sadly, my neck wouldn't rotate 180 degrees.

His tongue danced around my anal ring, moving much more shyly than his lips, and I wondered if the anus was a taboo in all of Harmonia, and not just among the clergy. I spread my legs and gently pushed my backside a little more against his face; he moaned and began to lick me more steadily, more confidently.

"Oh, my God," he moaned. "Oh, my God."

I heard a rhythmic tapping, and I'd been with enough men to know what he was doing. "No, Sasarai," I told him in my strictest tone. "You're not allowed to touch yourself. Not yet." 

"But--" he began.

"Lie back." I straddled myself over his face, taking care not to sit on him. "Lick me more." I let out a slightly exaggerated moan as he obeyed me. "You're doing well, Sasarai. That feels amazing."

As I gave my quads a good workout hovering over him, I began to rub my clit, which was hard and slick with lust. I now had a vew of Sasarai's very erect cock, and it pleased me to know how excited he was. Part of me longed to touch it, but I knew I'd enjoy tasting it even more if I didn't.

"Please, Lucia," he whimpered as his hands balled into fists, "let me touch you now."

"Go ahead." I certainly couldn't deny this poor man what he wanted any longer, could I?

He immediately grabbed my cheeks, using his thumbs to pull me open. His tongue pushed against my anal entrance, making it clench in protest, even as as the sensation led me to squeal with pleasure.

"Ah, is it okay?" he asked nervously.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "Keep going. I love it."

He was a natural; he didn't just lick my asshole, he kissed it, too, creating an absolutely delicious suction that had me crying out in ecstasy. Meanwhile, he continued to massage my ass with his palms, and his cock twitched every now and then, letting me know that he was enjoying this as much as I was.

I wanted it to go on forever, but all good things must come to an end, and I came hard, covering up my mouth to stifle my cries. I slipped off his face and collapsed at his side.

"Is that how a woman releases?" Sasarai asked, his chin and throat slick with my juices. "I always wondered if it was similar to a man's release."

I laughed. "Yes, that's how we 'release.' I'm liking your little euphemisms, Sasarai." I stretched, then sat up again, diverting my attention to his cock. "Looks like you enjoyed that, too."

"Oh..." Sasarai squirmed as I crawled over to his erection. "I can take care of that myself, if you want."

"Don't be ridiculous." I took it in my hand and looked into his eyes. "You said earlier that when you were with other men, you just used your hands. Does that mean you've never had oral sex before?"

His face turned red again and he quickly shook his head. "That sort of thing is considered...shameful. I mean, you kind of have to...You can't ignore what you're doing if your face is that close to...to another person's parts."

I glided my thumb over the head of his penis. "That's true. It's a very intimate thing to do with someone. Would you like to experience it?"

"I...I..." He swallowed, then nodded. "If you're willing."

"You'll need to talk to me," I explained. "It's different for everyone, so you'll need to tell me what turns you on. Is that okay?"

"Y-yes." He appeared to be steeling himself, as though waiting for an unpleasant experience.

"Relax," I told him, and slowly began to move my hand up and down his shaft while brushing my lips against it. He smelled very clean, and his skin was smooth as silk, offering me a sensory pleasure every time my mouth touched it.

He moaned softly, "That feels good."

I kssed the tip of his cock, and he shuddered as I prodded it with my tongue. I continued to tease him in this matter, touching him with just the tip of my tongue, circling the head before working it down his length to the base, and back up again.

"Lucia," he whimpered.

"Do you like it?" I asked him.

"Yes!"

I looked up at his face as I took the tip into my mouth. His eyes were half-closed and his mouth hung open; he wasn't looking at me. "Sasarai, have you ever put anything in your asshole before?"

"N...no...." Again, he seemed to cringe with embarrassment. "I...I wanted to...but...I never could. I couldn't bring myself to do it. It's so wrong...so forbidden...." Then, he looked down at me and admitted, "I wouldn't mind if you did it."

"But do you _want_ me to do it?" I pressed.

"Y..." He hesitated a moment, then nodded. "Yes."

After lubricating my finger with my saliva, I began to tease the rim of his asshole as I took his cock further into my mouth. His reaction was immediate and powerful as he thrust his hips upward. I looked up at him again, shook my head, and forced them back against the ground.

"That feels good," he sighed as I massaged his anus with the fingers of one hand and his balls with the other. His voice sounded far away, like in a dream, and it excited me.

His cock was a little on the small side, and it was easy to take him all the way in. I worked him into my mouth, moving slowly, exhaling so I could more easily take the head into my throat. It wasn't something I had a lot of practice in, and I had to quickly pull back, but it had its desired effect on Sasarai, whose moans were increasing in volume.

"Do you like this?" I asked him after taking his cock out of my mouth. 

He gave a frustrated groan and protested, " _Lucia_...."

I stroked his shaft with the underside of my tongue before covering it with slow, wet kisses. It aroused me to see this young man, so normally calm and composed, trembling and writhing before me. If I'd had any free hands, I would have begun touching myself again.

"Lucia," he whimpered, "please...."

Ignoring his tormented entreaties, I slowed my kisses even further. My finger still only brushed against his twitching bud, even as he tried to take it in.

"Don't stop," he begged. 

He sounded so pitiful that I had to laugh. "I like it when you beg me," I told him.

"I'll beg," he promised, his voice strained with anguish. "I'll do whatever you want. I'll lick your bottom again, and your womanhood, too. Just please, keep going. Let me..."

"Let you what?" I ran my fingertips up and down his shaft again, enough to stimulate him, but not nearly enough for him to release.

"Let me..." He seemed to be searching for the right word. I pressed the tip of my finger against his entrance, and he yelped. "Let me finish!"

"Good." I lowered my mouth onto his cock again and began to gently finger his asshole. 

He gasped and thrust his hips again, this time to no effect, as I continued to hold them down. When I'd had my fill of teasing him, I took as much of him into my mouth as I could and sucked, hard, and massaged the area between his balls and ass with the heel of my hand. For all the noise he had made until now, he was surprisingly quiet as he came into my mouth. I swallowed all of his seed and sat up, satisfied.

"That was..." Several moments passed, and he shook his head. "I don't know. It was really something." He sat up as well, staring at his flaccid penis. "I don't know if hands will ever be good enough for me again."

"They'll have to be," I said, "unless you have a lot of people lining up to give you blowjobs."

He laughed. "Blowjob? Is that what that's called?"

"Yeah." I licked my lips as my eyes roamed over his body. "You tasted pretty good, you know. I wouldn't mind having another go sometime." By now, my pussy was throbbing with arousal again, and I began to finger myself.

Sasarai watched me with a fascinated look on his face. "I didn't know women...gratified themselves."

"Of course we do." I laughed at his bewildered expression. "You think men are the only ones who get sexually aroused? What did we just spend twenty minutes doing?"

"I never thought about it," he admitted, then shifted a bit. "Do you mind if I...join in?"

I grinned at him. "Why don't we just have sex?"

He looked away. "I don't know, Lucia. Actually engaging in fornication is...a step I'm not sure I'm prepared to take."

"Eating someone's ass is less sinful than vaginal sex?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

His face turned bright red, and he mumbled, "Well, no...I mean, I'm not sure. It's not like that kind of thing is written about in dogma."

"It's all right," I assured him. "We don't have to do anything else. In fact, you can leave me if you want. I'm just going to rub one out real quick, and then I'll join you."

"Hmmm...." He tilted his head as his gaze drifted back to my lower body. Then, he sat up straight and said, "No, let's do it. I've always wondered what sexual intercourse felt like."

"Sounds good to me." I lay on the ground and spread my legs. "Lie on top of me. I'll show you what to do."

He awkwardly positioned himself over me, looking embarrassed, but not shy. "Okay, now what?"

"Press the head of your penis against my vulva," I instructed, and he nodded. I was impressed that he recognized the word I used. Taking his erection in my hand, I placed the head against the entrance to my vagina. "Now, push into here; you'll feel my cunt squeezing you. If I were a virgin, you'd have to be slow and gentle, but I'm not, so you don't have to worry about hurting me."

"O...Okay." Bracing himself, and with an adorably determined look on his face, he pushed into me, gasping at the sensation as I used my pelvic muscles to squeeze him. "Oh my God," he moaned, "that feels so _good_...and so smooth!"

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer to me, relishing the smell of him and the feel of his skin against mine. "Now, thrust," I whispered to him. "Thrust with all your might. Let your body take over. Again, if you do this with anyone else, you'll need to communicate with them to learn how they want it, and you might have to show some restraint. But I like it rough every now and then."

His first movements were awkward, even hesitant, and he stopped several times to ask me if I was okay. I told him that I appreciated his concern, and that it was good for a lover to be considerate. "I'm fine," I promised him.

And as the minutes passed, his thrusts grew more confident and more powerful.

"Good," I whispered in his ear. "You're hitting all the right spots. Now talk to me. Tell me what you want me to do."

"Kiss me," he said.

I pulled him close and pressed his lips against mine, pushing my tongue into his mouth, brushing it against his tongue. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pushed my hips forward to meet his thrusts, ran the tips of my fingers up his spine, making him shiver. I sucked on his pouting lower lip, then broke away to kiss his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. I sucked at his collarbone, hard enough to leave a red mark on his skin that was sure to last for a few days.

Sasarai shuddered and buried his face in the crook of my neck, and as his body convulsed in orgasm, I was able to reach my peak at the same time. It had been a long time since I'd come with a cock inside me, and I milked that orgasm with everything I had, riding it out until I was exhausted.

For several moments, Sasarai was dead weight, and I wondered if he had fallen asleep.

Finally, he groaned, "That was almost scary. I may never move agan."

I lightly smacked his butt. "You'll have to. If we stay here any longer, I'm afraid someone will find us. Let's get dressed and leave. I'm going to take a bath."

He stood up and stretched, still groaning. "I think that took a good twenty years off my life...although I guess since I have a True Rune, it doesn't matter."

"Was the sex that bad?" I asked, looking at him with mock-offense.

He grinned at me sheepishly and shrugged. "I'm afraid I have little to compare it with. I will say, though, your mouth and your tail are probably the best things I've ever put my pin in."

For a moment, I was too stunned to say anything; then, I burst out laughing. 

"Oh, Sasarai," I sighed, and tousled his hair. "You're just too funny. I really am going to miss you, you know."

***

Sasarai left shortly after with the rest of the Harmonians. I was sad to see him go, but not devastated. He promised he'd write, but I won't hold him to it; we both have busy lives.

I think Dios sensed that something had happened between us, but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, and he even shook my hand before they left. I wonder how close he and Sasarai are. Close enough for Sasarai to share our liaison with Dios? It doesn't matter to me. I'm not the one with everything to lose.

Certain powerful Harmonian bishops are pushing to go to war with the Grasslands again, I hear. I'm not concerned, as it's apparently not too popular an idea with the more moderate bishops or with the first-class Harmonian citizens, let alone the second- and third-class citizens. There's no doubt in my mind that Sasarai is doing everything he can to make sure it stays an unpopular idea.

I suppose that sort of trust just comes naturally when you love someone.

It took some soul-searching, but I came to realize that I was indeed in love with Sasarai. At my age, it doesn't matter whether my love is returned or not. Even if Sasarai feels the same way, as long as he is a servant of Hikusaak, we cannot be together. Even if he wished to be, I would refuse him unless he were willing to leave everything he's ever known behind.

I love Sasarai for his compassion. We may not see eye to eye on everything, but I know that he loves his country and his people, and he is reluctant to hurt others. If he's managed to survive this long without it being snuffed out of him, I think it's something he'll hold on to for a very long time.

I love the smoothness of his skin and the softness of his hair and the scent of his body. I love his slender frame, his beautiful green eyes, his cute little nose, his pink lips. I love his calm, soothing voice, both when he's in control and when he's whimpering from arousal. I love that I can feel every twitch of his muscles when he's holding me.

Most of all, I love his potential. I've seen both the sadness in his eyes and the determination that flashes in them when he's finished grieving. I've felt his sense of justice and righteousness, both of which are tempered by kindness and gentleness. I believe he will learn from his mistakes and do his part to improve his country, even if it places him in danger.

I hope he continues his friendship with Hugo. I hope that the two of them will remain allies instead of degenerating into enemies.

It's strange to think that both he and Hugo may live for hundreds, or even thousands of years. Such is the lot of a True Rune bearer, one chosen and protected by the spirits. Long after I and everyone else in our clan have perished, these two men I love will live on. It's a depressing, and inspiring, thought.

I won't be chief of the Karaya clan much longer. Hugo will be a far stronger and more capable leader when he comes of age. There are other things I can do for my clan.

Maybe I will meet Sasarai again. Maybe I won't.

For now, this warm, glowing feeling in my heart will be enough.

THE END


End file.
